Stephen Ministry Q & A

Q:  What is the Stephen Ministry Program?

Q:  Who are our Stephen Ministers?

Q:  What sort of problems can Stephen Ministers help with?

Q:  What sort of training do Stephen Ministers receive?

Q:  Can a Stephen Minister substitute for a therapist?

Q:  How can I receive a Stephen Minister?

Q:  Who will know that I have a Stephen Minister?

Q:  How do I make that first phone call?

Q:  Can I become a Stephen Minister?

Q: What is the Difference between a Stephen Ministry relationship and a friendship?

Q:  What is the Stephen Ministry Program?
 

A:  Stephen Ministry is a program that...
Equips lay persons to provide distinctly Christian care to individuals who are experiencing all kinds of life needs and circumstances.

Multiplies our Christian care and outreach by providing long-term care.

Enhances our outreach by creating "a caring church".

Offers Christ's love and care in intentional, systematic ways.

Understands itself to be a warm, loving and nurturing community.

Identifies our congregation to the community as a place where people's needs are taken seriously.

Meets the needs of people who need the care of other people.

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Q:  Who are our Stephen Ministers?

A:  Saint Andrews Stephen Ministers are a group of gifted and dedicated lay volunteers. Their mission is to provide personal, confidential, and caring Christian support for any of a wide variety of concerns. Stephen Ministers are thoroughly trained in the skills of compassionate and non-judgmental listening. All our Stephen Ministers are selected for participation in this program on the basis of their capability to provide care and support.

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Q:  What sort of problems can Stephen Ministers help with?

A:  An exhaustive list would be impossible to present. Stephen Ministers are given specific instruction in a wide variety of life-issues. The following are just a few of the areas in which a Stephen Minister might provide resources, care and support:  chronic or terminal illness, unemployment, job stress, bereavement, separation/divorce, spiritual crisis, depression.

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Q:  What sort of training do Stephen Ministers receive?

A:  Fifty hours of intensive course work begin the Stephen Minister training process. Bi-Monthly continuing education is also required. On top of all this, Stephen Ministers meet twice monthly in a small group setting for supervision, affirmation and support.

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Q:  Can a Stephen Minister substitute for a therapist?

A:  Absolutely not!
Stephen Ministry is not a counseling program - it is a caring ministry. Unlike therapists, Stephen Ministers are not primarily problem solvers. They are fellow members of the body of Christ who stand with you, offering the love of Christ.

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Q:  How can I receive a Stephen Minister?

A:  Persons looking for a Stephen Minister need to go through our referral process. It works like this...
A person, - either you, a relative or a friend - is hurting and in need of Christian care.

The Stephen Ministry Referrals Coordinator learns about this need for care, from the church staff, the person or a friend, a phone call, a pew card, always with the person's permission.

The Referrals Coordinator contacts the person and describes Stephen Ministry.

With the person's permission, the Referrals Coordinator assigns a Stephen Minister to meet on a weekly basis with the person.

The Stephen Minister continues to provide distinctly Christian care for the person, with strict confidentiality.

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Q:  Who will know that I have a Stephen Minister?

A:  Only those to whom you choose to reveal it. All Stephen Ministry relationships are strictly confidential.

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Q:  How do I make that first phone call?

A:  Call the church office at 847-1913 or call the Stephen Ministry voice mail at 847-8434, ext. 223. Our Referrals Coordinator will return your call.

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Q:  Can I become a Stephen Minister?

A:  Yes, this is a ministry that is comprised of lay people who have undergone specific training. Please watch our website, bulletins, and newsletters for information about upcoming classes.

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Q:  What is the Difference between a Stephen Ministry relationship and a friendship?

A:  A Stephen Minister is different from a close friend, and it’s important to understand the distinction. In a time of grief or crisis, the care receiver benefits from the care of both a Stephen Minister and close friends.
Stephen Ministers have a lot in common with close friends. You can depend on them; you can trust them; you know that they’ll keep confidential whatever you tell them. They’ll be there for you and help you through a rough time. But the Stephen Minister’s role is different from the role of a close friend.
 

A Stephen Ministry Relationship Isn’t a Mutual Relationship

Close friendships are mutual. Friends are there for each other; they share their good times and bad times and support each other.

A Stephen Ministry relationship is one-sided. Stephen Ministers listen, reflect thoughts and feelings, and care. Stephen Ministers don’t share their own problems with the care receiver as a friend might. They focus only on the care receiver’s issues, and they bring in their own experience only when they sense that they might be able to shed some light on the care receiver’s situation. But such sharing is rare and always geared toward the care receiver’s needs, not the Stephen Minister’s.

The relationship has been established for a reason--so that the Stephen Minister can walk with the care receiver through a difficult time. The Stephen Minister knows this, and the care receiver knows this. So when the Stephen Minister arrives at the care receiver’s home (perhaps after just a little bit of small talk), the two can dive right into deep emotional or spiritual issues. The Stephen Minister knows he or she "has permission" to ask questions about difficult experiences. Likewise, the care receiver knows he or she "has permission" to share painful feelings. The relationship has been established with a clear purpose in mind.

Friends often aren’t very objective. If someone’s hurting, a good friend usually hurts with that person. Friends often take the person’s part even if they might not feel that way if the situation were a little different. Their friendship might cloud their judgment at times.

A Stephen Minister certainly empathizes, but he or she needs to stay more objective than a friend. It’s up to the Stephen Minister to keep from "jumping into the mudhole" with the care receiver. By maintaining objectivity, the Stephen Minister can provide balance and perspective that a friend might not. He or she can, for instance, gently probe a care receiver’s idea in such a way that the person might rethink what he or she just said.

This isn’t to say that Stephen Ministers aren’t sympathetic, even empathetic. They hurt with their care receivers too! They may hug them, cry with them, even at times be angry along with them. But if they’re going to help the care receivers, they need to maintain boundaries that will help them move beyond those feelings and help the care receiver find a way beyond them, too.

Stephen Ministers go through 50 hours of training, regular continuing education, and twice-monthly small group peer supervision. They are trained caregivers--very highly trained caregivers. They have skills in active listening, dealing with feelings, Christian caregiving, setting boundaries, relating assertively, process-oriented caring, crisis intervention, and ministering in a wide range of situations. Their care isn’t casual, as a friend’s might be.

Stephen Ministers maintain boundaries that friends don’t--which is why Stephen Ministers are able to help in ways that friends may not. They focus on the process of caring without trying to "fix things" or pushing for results, as well-meaning friends so often do. They empathize without getting tangled up in the person’s feelings. They listen in ways that let the care receiver find his or her own solutions. They may listen to the same story sixteen times and be willing to listen for the seventeenth as well.

Stephen Ministers regularly evaluate the caring relationships--in supervision and on their own--always with the goal of providing the best care they possibly can provide for the care receiver. Their caring is a ministry. The Stephen Minister is there as long as the care receiver needs care.

Most importantly, Stephen Ministers rely on God to direct their actions and help them as they care for their care receivers. Stephen Ministers pray for their care receivers and may pray with them when they welcome prayer. Stephen Ministry care is based on grace; Stephen Ministers strive to be the face of Christ to their care receivers. Friendships may have a spiritual perspective, but Stephen Ministry relationships always do. The Stephen Minister is always sensitive to the care receiver’s needs in this aspect, never forcing prayers or Bible verses into the relationship. But Stephen Ministers often focus on spiritual as well as emotional and psychological hurts as they minister to their care receivers.

Friendships can be forever. Stephen Ministry relationships aren’t. The time will come when the care receiver no longer needs a Stephen Minister, and the relationship will close.

Of course, once the Stephen Ministry relationship is over, the relationship between the Stephen Minister and care receiver may blossom into a friendship. But when a person is going through a rough time, he or she will benefit from the focused care of a Stephen Minister--in addition to the care of his or her loyal friends.

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